Words by Ian Pennington

The non-news item of the week is one that’s enough to spark the fire in your belly to get up and out of the house: apparently the average British resident orders three takeaways per month. So the question is, which gigs have you missed by sitting on the sofa chewing on stuffed crusts, egg fried rice and battered cod? Here’s a bunch of the best you’ll miss this week if you order in.

Akua Naru’s lyrical mind food will be garnished by her live jazzy hip hop band at Band on the Wall this evening. “I love the power of hip hop,” she said in a recent interview. “How it can connect people, empower, educate, and speak to my experience.”

Given the slant towards nourishment this week, Black Honey’s Soup Kitchen show on Tuesday 13th is ready made wordplay. Their alt-rock melodies are akin to the London 2012 (that long ago?!) Opening Ceremony soundtracked David Holmes.

Staying at Soup on Wednesday 14th, you’ll find a helping of soulful disco by Dornik served up by the Now Wave team. One to watch out for if you’re into Jungle (the band, not the genre).

Seasoned folk rock is next up on the menu. Vetiver’s rhythmic spice is filed under the eyes-closed, gentle head nodding section, or in the case of Thursday 15th, at Night & Day Café.

Thursday also sees the opening night of the annual Women in Comedy Festival at Frog & Bucket. Volatile Scot Susan Calman dons her head chef hat.

Friday 16th is a plentiful buffet of dance and electronic music in Manchester, its three dishes best served with cold hard beats. There’s the Warehouse Project staple, which this week features Bonobo and Jamie xx on the decks, the latter will also have earlier in the night commanded Albert Hall all by himself. If you’re being greedy, there’s also Diplo’s supergroup Major Lazer at Academy 1.

But these are all sold out at the last count, so you already know about them. If you’re not going to any, maybe give in and reach for the phone to order that takeaway we tried to steer away from, but be ready to venture out again on Saturday 17th for a two-course platter of ethereal surf pop (La Luz @ Eagle Inn) and indie rock (Fink @ Academy 2).

The beacon shining from below the radar this weekend is Carefully Planned Festival. Its fifth instalment finds Northern Quarter homes for the likes of worriedaboutsatan, Embers, Haiku Salut, The Hipshakes, Jim Ghedi and Kiran Leonard, spanning both Saturday and then Sunday 18th.

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